Brain Marbling [Jackie]

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K500
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PL: 80,120
XP: 7,125
Circuits Bizarre (x5)

Tag: @ohmyshoulder
Posts: 349 Male

Brain Marbling [Jackie] May 4, 2021 6:56:38 GMT -5

Quote

Post by K500 on May 4, 2021 6:56:38 GMT -5

Thread PL: 30,500 | Items: None | Antisense ON

'Feelings you may feel aren't grounded' — how stupid and limited! K4 was to act as a guide, yet his advice came off as a childish challenge, tantamount to tossing a kid to the reeds and tell them to find the way back home! Sure his credentials were forged, but he had read and overthought to know better than this... By some miracle, Jackie found use to his useless words. Anxiety and pain were closely related, the mind had such inordinate power that it could think the body into weakness or, extremely rarely, cure it. Also, studies proved that happy people live longer, the bastards.

"I'm not sure there's such a thing as a mundane day, but yours for sure haven't been 'comfortable'." Nervousness, apprehension, fear; anxiety had its use. It kept people alert, aware to stimuli, in and outside of them. Senses and thoughts shifted, even perceptions as elementary as weight and time were warped to ensure survival. But that was a holdover from a more feral time, modern living had a knack to keep people ruminating on the same thoughts over and over. A memory became morbid, forced to fester, supplant reason and the most genuine want... like a virus, trying to replicate. Interesting. "Your inability to seek help isn't a personal failing, you don't blame a sick person for their fever. It's a symptom of something greater, and that you can control. It'll take time, patience, effort, because this will need a completely different outlook on life. Because you mustn't characterize yourself as someone who has failed since that day and every day since." K4 was thinking of Curbi, their plays and schemes, how he missed his brother. He solved nothing by running away. Maybe it wasn't just fear, maybe he thought he didn't deserve a life. He didn't want anyone else to feel that way.

"You were a kid, now an adult, who has to deal with a very complicated situation, something that can't ever be resolved truly. You can't change what happened, you can still live a happy, fulfilling life, away from that trauma, that day." he paused, elbows set on the table, resting a hand on his forehead while the other wrote brisk numbers.

K500
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Psychic Cyborg Mercenary Clone For Hire

Jackie
Fabled Dynamo

Kami of Earth

STATS
STUFF
SIDES

PL: 130,000
XP: 14,842
Intense Bulk (x5),
False Sun Soul (x16)

Tag: @jackie
Posts: 1,268

Item Malus: 19,750

Minion PL: 15,000
Minion Forms: Great Namek (x5)

Brain Marbling [Jackie] May 4, 2021 12:26:53 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Jackie on May 4, 2021 12:26:53 GMT -5

Jackie was actually sort of glad to hear the therapist explain to her how failing to seek help wasn't entirely on her. Reframing it as a failure of an illness, her being the victim. It would take a good deal to make her not feel like a failure though. That one was rough. Even if she got some form of closure surrounding her family it wouldn't be enough. With a sigh she ran fingers through her hair.

"Err, right. A different outlook. Do you think any activities would help with that? Like, in the meantime. I still want to deal with a few aching questions head-on, but I'd rather not make that the whole crux of my problem. I liked fighting, but it still brings a lot of baggage with it."
She really did wonder if the cyborg would have any other suggestions on the matter. Seeing as outside her job and tinkering she had no real hobbies. And even then the problems persisted as she tried distracting herself with them. Even if the both of them seemed to talk past one another, she was definitely getting something of worth from it.

"I ask cause I haven't really tried doing much outside my job and work. Nothing ever 'clicked' for me otherwise. Do you get that?"
She made sure she was being as clear as possible, seeing as K4 skimmed over some of her other Earthling sayings before.

WC: 241
TWC: 4968

-Theme-

Companions: Tambe of the Warrior Clan #00911d

K500
Renowned Power

XP/PL transferred to Taxon

STATS
STUFF
SIDES

PL: 80,120
XP: 7,125
Circuits Bizarre (x5)

Tag: @ohmyshoulder
Posts: 349 Male

Brain Marbling [Jackie] May 8, 2021 12:48:43 GMT -5

Quote

Post by K500 on May 8, 2021 12:48:43 GMT -5

Thread PL: 30,500 | Items: None | Antisense ON

"I get that." K4 said, knowing the theory of boredom despite not remembering how it gnawed at the soul. He thought plotting revenge was a good and casual enough pastime, but maybe it stressed the fleshy brain more than it edified one's reason and compassion. So, as with at stressors, it was dulled. "Be it as it may that fighting has that baggage to it, something similar could be arranged. With the same thrill and exertion..." he clasped his fingers, swiveling on the chair as he thought. Then, his stare meandered to the cactus. Yes, of course. "How about gardening?" he slid the prickly plant to Jackie, but kept the pinned note for himself "A new mindset requires new habits, hobbies. Gardening is diametrically opposed to fighting, you grow instead of destroying. But progress will be at nature's pace, not your own, and in that sense it also opposes engineering!" He paused, hesitation bringing down his smile "There's no replacing fighting. Even exercising may be too adjacent to it for you to feel well... I can't promise that watering plants and regulating soil acidity will give you that same satisfaction, but there will be accomplishment in watching the literal fruits of your labor bloom." the failure of an analogy got K4 to cringe, flowers became fruit, not the other way around. He recovered quickly.

"More importantly, I think, is to give substance to those intrusive thoughts roiling for attention. The activity that has never failed me is keeping a diary. The boon of a paper confidant is that they're silent, they keep every secret and neurosis to the reader and themselves." that is, of course, if no one else got their mittens on the diary. K4 buried Kalabas' on Vegeta, corny as the gesture was. "Usually it's not done this way, but I'd suggest keeping a therapy journal in separate, for privacy's sake. Honestly, it'll depend on whether you want a follow up consultation, and with who."

K500
APP: LINK
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Psychic Cyborg Mercenary Clone For Hire

Jackie
Fabled Dynamo

Kami of Earth

STATS
STUFF
SIDES

PL: 130,000
XP: 14,842
Intense Bulk (x5),
False Sun Soul (x16)

Tag: @jackie
Posts: 1,268

Item Malus: 19,750

Minion PL: 15,000
Minion Forms: Great Namek (x5)

Brain Marbling [Jackie] May 8, 2021 14:28:41 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Jackie on May 8, 2021 14:28:41 GMT -5

While interesting a suggestion from K4, a cyborg, after all, Jackie wouldn't help but blink and give the cactus another look. Gardening, huh. It was not so different from what some of her family did back home. It wasn't exactly a thing they considered a hobby, more like a necessary thing to their communal living. And it was very specific to the region in which they lived. She'd make a verbal motion to Kayfor that she'd considered it before just like with everything else.

"H-hah. I can try that route, attempt a small something here and there, but I don't think I'll ever get something out of it even close. I've tried before, actually. My family, all of us, usually grew gardens for ourselves."
She smiled though. Cause all this talking was making her feel better about having all these feelings anyways. As cold as K4 could be sometimes, he was putting the right thoughts out there for the young flame to mull over. Like a diary! Of course. Why not a diary?

"Might be nice to write some of that out. Keep tabs on anything I notice revolving around my thoughts... I dunno if I need further consultation, honestly. What you've given me so far has allowed me to lay it all out right there and "
Closer to a 'planner' than a diary at that point. Not that K4 needed to know she was meaning to go out of her way for that.

WC: 247
TWC: 5215

-Theme-

Companions: Tambe of the Warrior Clan #00911d

K500
Renowned Power

XP/PL transferred to Taxon

STATS
STUFF
SIDES

PL: 80,120
XP: 7,125
Circuits Bizarre (x5)

Tag: @ohmyshoulder
Posts: 349 Male

Brain Marbling [Jackie] May 10, 2021 17:22:47 GMT -5

Quote

Post by K500 on May 10, 2021 17:22:47 GMT -5

Thread PL: 30,500 | Items: None | Antisense ON

K4 retracted the cactus, sheltering it behind a caring hand — he was used to people shutting down his brilliant ideas, just not so reasonably and politely. He wondered if gardening had as much baggage to Jackie as fighting, if her anxiety could be set off by the prospect of holding pruning shears. He shelved the cactus away from sight, mouth dry with worry. Then he sighed imperceptibly, awash with relief, as the idea of a diary kindled hope in Jackie. It was a common tool, used and abused in media and reality, but perhaps she just needed that push to take action. The neural network that made up K4 needed similar prompts from time to time. He felt organic for a moment — and that, in turn, felt complicated.

"I'm happy to hear that." his smile was very easy, he could barely notice it "Still, it might be worth scheduling a follow-up, to make sure this good day isn't an anomaly. The goal is to make those the standard. And as for our other business..." his voice lowered, despite knowing the only recording devices around were his. He offered Jackie a card "I'm giving you my contact, single-use. Burn it, eat it, just don't let this paper fall in the wrong hands. If you lose it, you can..." realization struck violently "You can just come here and ask for another. But I'm a bit tight on time, so that wouldn't be optimal."

K4 felt he had helped, that he could keep helping, that he would. He also felt that the session was coming to a close. He had learned a lot, and hopefully Jackie had found it just as useful.

"Keep me posted?" he reached over the table with a clenched fist, awaiting the customary bump. Chummy, without being too personal. Flawless.

K500
APP: LINK
PLOTTER: LINK
THEME: LINK

Psychic Cyborg Mercenary Clone For Hire

Jackie
Fabled Dynamo

Kami of Earth

STATS
STUFF
SIDES

PL: 130,000
XP: 14,842
Intense Bulk (x5),
False Sun Soul (x16)

Tag: @jackie
Posts: 1,268

Item Malus: 19,750

Minion PL: 15,000
Minion Forms: Great Namek (x5)

Brain Marbling [Jackie] May 10, 2021 20:27:55 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Jackie on May 10, 2021 20:27:55 GMT -5

Jackie did the cordial nods as K4 went on about making further appointments was perhaps worth considering. He didn't really sound disingenuous but he was also selling a potential service, from her point of view. She continued doing so with a smile, leaning from her seat to take his contact info like it were part of the diagnosis. Or maybe a prescription to what ails here was more fitting. Her fingers flipped the card back and for a few times before pocketing.

"Of course."
She whispered with a wink, standing up to her feet with a stretch. She couldn't really ask for much more than this today. It was free, and honestly, the therapist running a side gig in helping with a strong arm was just a nice bonus. It wouldn't go to waste with her. The sun monk rose a fist up to exchange a bump, chuckling as she pulled the hand back to do a little finger gun.

"I'll call ya when I've got some things figured out. You take care of yourself, Doctor. Alright?"
She meant that. Picking up her bags she left near the couch and making her way on out with a final wave. There was but a quick visit to the desk attendant to make sure her files were in order before she'd be off. Heading straight home to finish the day out.

WC: 232
TWC: 5447
Exit

Last Edit: May 17, 2021 17:19:06 GMT -5 by Jackie

-Theme-

Companions: Tambe of the Warrior Clan #00911d

K500
Renowned Power

XP/PL transferred to Taxon

STATS
STUFF
SIDES

PL: 80,120
XP: 7,125
Circuits Bizarre (x5)

Tag: @ohmyshoulder
Posts: 349 Male

Brain Marbling [Jackie] May 12, 2021 15:48:05 GMT -5

Quote

Post by K500 on May 12, 2021 15:48:05 GMT -5

Thread PL: 30,500 | Items: None | Antisense ON

Jackie formed a gun with her hand. Immediately stimulants poured out into K4's bloodstream, processes inside him tried to understand how he could have been so thoroughly tricked. But the gesture turned out to be social, harmless. "Bye." he rasped dryly as the door slammed shut, tracing the veins running along his trachea, cooling his jets through chemical compounds. His head crashed heavily on the desk.

But he endured, throwing his limp body unto the reinforced divan. He anchored his neurosis to Jackie. She felt real. Real enough, at least, for K4 to wonder if he was. His thoughts and actions felt his, but there was not an insignificant chance that he functioned on falsehoods — or worse, unprovable truths. Kalabas, if there ever was one, was a tumor the consciousness could not bring himself to excise. Were it to be deleted, much of what made K4 his own person would be gone. New code could fill the empty, explain away the contradictions, but he much preferred to surrender this body and brain to 4K. His creation amounted to little more than a computer virus playing sentient, but reality would hew away the incongruities, and K4 would have truly made something real. Realer, perhaps, than Jackie.

With one last vaporous breath, the cyborg dissolved into a machine dream.

Thread Exit!
TWC: 5,963

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Legendary~ Renowned Power STATS STUFF SIDES Tag: @legendary Posts: 298	Brain Marbling [Jackie] Jun 2, 2021 12:09:47 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Legendary~ on Jun 2, 2021 12:09:47 GMT -5 Jackie: +6849 \| New Total: 11,412 K414: +6953 \| New Total: 10,145

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