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Post by Dion on Jan 5, 2022 21:50:59 GMT -5
To say that these last two weeks or so on Plant have been, hard, for a certain somber Saiyan would be an understatement that undermined exactly how much he had been forced to endure throughout his entire time on this wholly disheartening planet.
It was as though fate had decided a weight comparable of that to the entirety of the universe would be given to him to bare specifically- the guilt and shame sustained after failing to have done anything besides barely get by amidst his six month abduction being nearly enough to send Dion toppling over the edge of rationality.
And despite his younger brother pleading for him to believe otherwise, the bereaved bartender couldn't shake the feeling of it all somehow all leading back to him- as if him failing to have prevented his own seizing was what led to both his brother becoming homeless and his childhood friend and hopeful flame-to-be being snuffed out. His inherent weakness being exposed through his inability to do anything in retaliation as he had once always been able to do now shook Dion to his very core. It left the young man feeling, defeated, deflated, and quite uncertain of his own capability to defend the few who had truly ever come to care about him.
It led him to become obsessed with what might have been, what could have been- What if he had been able to escape? What if he hadn't been taken in the first place? Would he have been able to prevent Amara's untimely demise? Could he have kept his brother from experiencing his childhood anguishes all over again? Or, if by some odd miracle he had been able to overcome such overwhelming obstacles, would it have all been for naught anyways? Would he have been, once again, far too lacking to tip the scales in his favor?
The torment that these thoughts had sowed the seeds for now bloomed their terrible blossoms, the parasitic pains encasing the young man in new chains- ones that he was unsure he would ever be able to break free from. While he had made his way from his six month trip to hell and back still stubbornly clinging onto what little life he had left, it was as though the circumstances that he now found himself within created only but a new cage for him to linger within.
Considering he wished not to add any further stress upon Carro for the time being, as he was still working out the details of their eventual departure and subsequent journey home, Dion thought it best to take his heavy heart somewhere that would enable the younger Hofferson to remain focused, and so he found himself returning to a previous place of respite that he had just discovered not too long ago- the Berri Forest.
Whilst being mostly tranquil for the time that he had spent within its nature-based embrace, it also offered Dion a private place to reflect, and with what he's had to go through, such a place proved invaluable for the Saiyan whose mind could never stall.
It was in this very forest where he relived hundreds, possibly even thousands at this point, of instances- chance moments here and there amid what he has had to endure, thinking, seeing, calculating anything and everything he could have ever done differently in order to have avoided such disastrous repercussions- many of which ending with his own demise, which still seemed to prove preferable to the living hell that was moving forward with the guilt now built upon his back.
Sat atop a lone tree stump in the middle of a clearer part of the Berri Forest is where Dion now found himself reliving his most recent reverie. Both hands folded into each other as he leaned his head forward, elbows propped onto his knees as he stared far off into the distance, utterly absorbed in his make believe pipe dreams of wondrous success and survival for all parties involved in his blunder.
Slowly, yet surely, Dion was starting to fall into his age old habit once again- beginning to once more revel in the past at the cost of becoming estranged from his present and future.
But, with being so far from home, and his self-sacrificing idiosyncrasy being one of the few things that still remained throughout all that had changed that kept him from leaning on his younger brother any more than he had to, what else was there to do?
Who else could there be to pull him from the depths of the despair that now gripped his severely damaged psyche?
It was as though fate had decided a weight comparable of that to the entirety of the universe would be given to him to bare specifically- the guilt and shame sustained after failing to have done anything besides barely get by amidst his six month abduction being nearly enough to send Dion toppling over the edge of rationality.
And despite his younger brother pleading for him to believe otherwise, the bereaved bartender couldn't shake the feeling of it all somehow all leading back to him- as if him failing to have prevented his own seizing was what led to both his brother becoming homeless and his childhood friend and hopeful flame-to-be being snuffed out. His inherent weakness being exposed through his inability to do anything in retaliation as he had once always been able to do now shook Dion to his very core. It left the young man feeling, defeated, deflated, and quite uncertain of his own capability to defend the few who had truly ever come to care about him.
It led him to become obsessed with what might have been, what could have been- What if he had been able to escape? What if he hadn't been taken in the first place? Would he have been able to prevent Amara's untimely demise? Could he have kept his brother from experiencing his childhood anguishes all over again? Or, if by some odd miracle he had been able to overcome such overwhelming obstacles, would it have all been for naught anyways? Would he have been, once again, far too lacking to tip the scales in his favor?
The torment that these thoughts had sowed the seeds for now bloomed their terrible blossoms, the parasitic pains encasing the young man in new chains- ones that he was unsure he would ever be able to break free from. While he had made his way from his six month trip to hell and back still stubbornly clinging onto what little life he had left, it was as though the circumstances that he now found himself within created only but a new cage for him to linger within.
Considering he wished not to add any further stress upon Carro for the time being, as he was still working out the details of their eventual departure and subsequent journey home, Dion thought it best to take his heavy heart somewhere that would enable the younger Hofferson to remain focused, and so he found himself returning to a previous place of respite that he had just discovered not too long ago- the Berri Forest.
Whilst being mostly tranquil for the time that he had spent within its nature-based embrace, it also offered Dion a private place to reflect, and with what he's had to go through, such a place proved invaluable for the Saiyan whose mind could never stall.
It was in this very forest where he relived hundreds, possibly even thousands at this point, of instances- chance moments here and there amid what he has had to endure, thinking, seeing, calculating anything and everything he could have ever done differently in order to have avoided such disastrous repercussions- many of which ending with his own demise, which still seemed to prove preferable to the living hell that was moving forward with the guilt now built upon his back.
Sat atop a lone tree stump in the middle of a clearer part of the Berri Forest is where Dion now found himself reliving his most recent reverie. Both hands folded into each other as he leaned his head forward, elbows propped onto his knees as he stared far off into the distance, utterly absorbed in his make believe pipe dreams of wondrous success and survival for all parties involved in his blunder.
Slowly, yet surely, Dion was starting to fall into his age old habit once again- beginning to once more revel in the past at the cost of becoming estranged from his present and future.
But, with being so far from home, and his self-sacrificing idiosyncrasy being one of the few things that still remained throughout all that had changed that kept him from leaning on his younger brother any more than he had to, what else was there to do?
Who else could there be to pull him from the depths of the despair that now gripped his severely damaged psyche?
PL: 5,000 - WC: 775
