Drowning in Drink

    This time, Lottus shows surprise on his face as Cato speaks, revealing that she'd not had a semblance of Saiyan upbringing. Well, that would not do. Who better to teach of the warrior way of the Saiyans, than the man that even the Saiyans themselves considered to be a madman? She had the spunk, the look, and the words to boot. Perhaps it could be fun?

    "Well then, I've ruined this joint a bit too much. A mile or so away is a better joint to pick up a decent meal." Lottus tells Cato, jabbing a thumb to the west. "We can talk about it there."

    Lottus floats up, acting as if the street wasn't in ruins and there hadn't just been a blasting brawl between himself and Cato. It was an aloofness that often bothered his fellows. He flies fairly fast, and it takes only a few minutes to reach a structure that stood a few stories tall. On the outside, it still held the same look as the rest of the buildings on the street. But, at least there was no fights going on within.

    Lottus waits for Cato before turning to enter the building.

    "My own control of the form is... debatable." Lottus would admit once she lands. "But that's more likely an issue with me, personally. My head is already messed up - and Wrathful doesn't help with that. But Saiyans CAN learn to control their Oozaru form, and also the Wrathful State with enough training. I've seen Oozaru that can speak and act with the same tactics as when they are in their base form."

    A sudden stab of pain rips through Lottus' skull, and he grunts, slapping a hand to the side of his head. He grits his teeth and waits for the throbbing to pass before actually entering the building.

    "....Sorry about that. I get... migraines." Lottus says, looking sideways as Cato.

---

    Lottus frowns and looks back at Cato at her comment. He should have expected a remark after what he'd said, but it still surprised him. His solitude until recently was starting to show. But rather than mope, Lottus grins toothily, putting on his arrogant front.

    "It means I'm mad." Lottus says, rapping a knuckle against his brow. "That's what I'm told, at any rate. I have a fun problem with keeping sane when I start fighting. You could say it makes me a more efficient killer on the battlefield."

    One could, but Lottus still hated what it felt like. It was akin to being yanked backwards, and falling into a pitch black room filled with water you couldn't swim through. Windows of what was happening, glimpses to what he was doing, who he had tortured in battle, who he'd stalked in the ruins until cutting them down... Or the times he simply snapped and killed as a reaction to his migraines making him temporarily lose control.

    No, he enjoyed battle. And it wasn't until recent events that he allowed himself to think about what he was doing. It was easier to just... let go.

    "Funnily enough, I can control myself in the Oozaru form." he tells Cato, still grinning.  "It's when I use the Wrathful State that things get... difficult. I've learned that there are others who can use similar power to mine, but are greatly more... stable."

    Lottus then shrugs.

    "And I don't need to get anything for it. There's no helping what's wrong with me. Except death, I suppose." Lottus says, sounding nonchalant. "Besides, no one would want to. I'm a psycho killer - I doubt there are many who would see an advantage in making me more stable."

    He knew of at least one who had promised to try, but that woman was just being naïve. He'd come close to killing her twice, and she still had the audacity to say she'd try to help him.

    Foolishness.

    Lottus pushes the door open, and motions to Cato to go ahead of him.

    "And now that you know to aim for my head, try not to disappoint me the next time we brawl - I prefer opponents that do their damnedest to kill me, like I said earlier." Lottus adds. "Part of survival is knowing where and how to hit back. You'll need to learn that if you want to work your way up the social ladder. But me, I prefer my place at the bottom. Less people to disappoint."

---

    The scent of cooking meats, sauces both sweet and spicy, steaming vegetables, and any number of meal worthy foods would instantly hit their noses upon entry. The place was largely empty, save for a few crowded tables. Unlike the bar Lottus had happily damaged, this location was fairly well kept. Lottus walks over to a table not too unlike the booth Cato had occupied before, but the seating was lined in blue linen, and had room enough for five or slightly more.

    He drops into the seat nearest to the left edge before speaking, following Cato's lead.

    "Ha! I like the challenge. If you can put me in a healing pod, I'll work for you hahaha!" Lottus laughs, very much amused, but not discrediting her words. She had more potential than the rest of the dregs - the probability of her keeping pace with him, or even surpassing him, was plenty possible, even likely.

    She was the second person to say those specific words, however. I won't kill you. The resemblance to the way Rhapsody spoke those words unnerved Lottus, though he doesn't show it on his face. Indeed - the idea of people saying they didn't want to kill him was actually strange to him. He was not accustomed to people being so... accepting.

    "Long term... Huh..." Lottus grunts, leaning back in his seat. "Never really think about the long term. Long term for me is whatever is between now and the next battle. I don't have a plan for the future, personally."

    He smiles toothily again.

    "And to answer your earlier question - yeah, it becomes impossible to think about the battle. Eventually, for me at least, it's just the impulse to keep moving." Lottus tells Cato. "I'm a hammer, Cato, I'm not meant to last. Folks like Vocado are the ones who make plans. You've probably got a future though - you seem like a planner, what with your goals and all."

    The waiter arrives to take their orders, and Lottus simply orders Vartha Juice, Tendath eggs, and a Saibabeast leg. He looks back at Cato after their orders are taken.

    "You've essentially said that you've been abandoned. The way you told me about your past suggests as much." Lottus says candidly. He tilts his head quizzically. "If so, why not make a life away from all this?"

    He gestures broadly, at nothing in particular.

    "Why come back to the people that turned their backs on you?" he asks, though his tone isn't combative. "You'd be justified putting our people at your back and taking up a better life."

---

    Lottus watches Cato as she speaks, not grinning or trying to interrupt. At the end of her reply, Lottus grunts, as if words weren't reaching him to respond with. After a few moments, he shrugs.

    "A couple things I've figured out have helped me go day to day, though they may not be much of a help to you." Lottus says, keeping his coal black eyes on the purpled-haired Saiyan. "There's no such thing as peace. Not really. You can destroy every enemy you ever encounter, and another that wants to destroy you, whether because they don't understand you or because you have what they want, there's always someone else that's gonna show up. A bit grim, but I've not seen any reason to believe otherwise. Allies can become enemies, people you thought would protect you can try to kill you..."

    Lottus grimaces at the thought, but pushes it back down.

    "As far as homes go, wherever you put your feet down? That's home. I've lived in the ruins between the Saiyan and Tuffle civilizations for five years. Technically, that's still my home." Lottus tells Cato evenly. "And there ain't no, Saiyan enough when you ARE a Saiyan. You stood up to me and didn't back down - that counts for a lot, Cato. Upbringing, mindset, planets you grow up on, none of that crap matters. You have Saiyan blood running in your veins? Then you're a Saiyan. I don't care if you're a half breed, quarter breed, or an eighteenth breed. If the Blood is there, then you're a Saiyan."

    The food arrives, and Lottus grins hungrily. He digs into his food before speaking again.

    "Some things you look for have a tendency to evade you for as long as you look for it." Lottus continues after tearing into the Saibabeast leg meat. "More often than not, they'll find you, if you believe in that destiny stuff."

    Lottus gorges on his drink, and slams the cup down, a satisfied grin on his face spreading from ear to ear.

    "The only one who determines whether or not you're Saiyan enough is you." he adds fervently. "If you've got the pride of the Saiyans in your heart, what does it matter what other cogs in the machine think of the bolt?"

---

    Lottus nods when Cato finishes speaking, seeming to think about her perspective as he chews. They were fair counter points.

    "I don't see fighting as separate from war." Lottus says after swallowing down his food. "Sparring, that's friendly competition. But fighting, that's deeper than just competing. That's acting with the knowledge that you are going to hurt or kill. Fighting is not competition, it's about putting down something that threatens you. But I can see how other cultures would view it differently."

    Lottus chases down his food with the sweet drink he'd ordered.

    "If you don't mind my saying, I can see a conflict that you aren't considering." Lottus continues, letting his food sit for a moment. "If you want answers, you have to think about the questions you can answer yourself first. For example; you think war without end would be miserable. But for me; that's the whole point to my existence. I'm a warrior, and warriors are worthless in peaceful time. We exist to destroy those that threaten us and what we stand for - be that a culture, a planet, a government, or a personal belief. I can answer honestly that war does not depress me, because that's what I exist for. I am not a scientist, or a builder. I understand my role in life, and what it means."

    Lottus finishes the last of his meal quickly before continuing.

    "So, the first thing you have to ask yourself is what do you want to be? You have power and enjoy competitive combat, but maybe being a warrior isn't what you are meant for." Lottus offers. "You say you have questions about yourself - then figure out which ones you know how to ask, and the ones you can get answers for the fastest. Like I said before, you wont always get answers no matter how hard you look for them. If they are meant to be answered, then the answer will find its way to you first."

    Lottus grins and leans back in his seat.

    "Everyone has questions. Hell, I do too, and I doubt most of them will ever see answers." Lottus adds. "What you do once you have answers is more important than how you get them. You already believe that you have noble blood - so if you want the answer to that, then you have to go to the Palace. Whether you get an audience with the monarch, or if you go to the Ministry of Records, you'll get your answer. And if you're not of noble blood, then you can let that go and move on to a bigger question than what knowing your bloodline is."

    Lottus leans forward across the table, getting uncomfortably close to Cato's face.

    "What do you WANT to be?" he asks, holding the close space for a moment longer before returning to his seat.

---