Roar of The Crowd - Friends Meet Again [Phakk]

"Shinjin do live for a long time, so I can't properly fathom how old, well older than that is. The Supreme Kai can live for millions of years so I'm told, but it's not as if I've been alive near enough time to confirm such a claim. Though I have no reason not to believe it to be true."

    Whether she caught him doing so, he was constantly looking over at her now, trying, and most likely failing at being subtle about it. Their race looked younger longer than most races, but still comparatively they still aged physically into their elder years. Phakk didn't look any older than he did as far as he could tell, which was appropriate to how she worded being old. Was she simply going to always look this way, or was something about her magic keeping her looking younger.

"That's both a lot of years and an unfortunate amount of time to have gaps in. I wish I could help, but I wouldn't know where to start with unpacking that."

    That was a subject he wasn't sure if he should touch, especially given there is apparently a dark magic inside of her that he wasn't keen on seeing first hand, even if a part of him was. Touching on bad memories could cause as much trouble as it fixed, which he knew far too well.

"It's a lot, more than any fish usually has when put into those water filled containers. Wasn't my finest comparison, but it's what my mind went to when I saw it all the same. It's another example of realizing how wrong a lot of my preconceived notions are, and how much I judge even when it's not my intention."

    His eyebrow raised at her comment for a moment, before unable to keep from snickering as he realized where she was going with it.

"Just don't do anything too crazy, yeah? I'd prefer not to have to bonk you, or be bonked in return. Though, you are right about the cost of balance. As long as that cost isn't you getting hurt, I'm not okay with that. There are multiple paths to balance, even if they aren't immediately seen. I might not be willing to stand under some Tuffle raised banner to stop aliens I've never met, but if they truly try to hurt you..."

His fists began to clench as he looked up, forcing himself to take a deep breath, feeling an anger swelling.

"I don't think I'd be able to control my emotions very well if that happened."

    He couldn't help but let out a chuckle at her comment, nodding with a knowing look. The Kai's especially made a lot of exaggerated claims, whether they believe them all he was unsure, but they were amusing usually in hindsight.

    The idea of this war being such a big deal it was causing others from planets far from it to flock there was a strange idea. Even if by sheer circumstance it was pulling two Shinjin there as well, and the idea annoyed Ward a little while at the same time comforting him. The universe was vast yet interconnected in ways he might never know for all the years he had ahead of him. The Tuffles, for all Ward was disinterested in their war, rightfully worried about their own well-being, but even if these Saiyans took over the entire planet it didn't seem important to any other as far as he was aware.

"I've seen a few sunrises and a few sunsets as well, yes. I wonder if other planets in this solar system have similarly beautiful skies. It's the one thing I truly appreciate about this planet I will admit. I wonder if those on this planet are able to appreciate it or if it's something they've grown accustomed to."

    His head shook as his hands waved dismissively. The topic of plant was one he was growing weary of, but it loomed heavy overhead all the same.

"No, I think I'm done talking about wars and Kais for now. Everyone I talk to recently seems interested in little else than this war. All else that's on my mind at the moment is this tournament, but I'm not sure how interested you are, or really how much I even have to say about it that's of any interest for a discussion. Tell me what's on your mind."

    It wasn't until she approached that he looked to go back to some semblance of the usual Ward people saw, or more so that he showed. Behind all of his calm demeanor and stoic stances he was just as emotional as others, just as empathetic, but in his mind he couldn't show it the same. It wasn't as if he saw his emotions as a weakness, but he was not as good at handling situations as he might have come off as. By mortal standards he was ancient, with years of experiences and interactions. By Shinjin standards he was barely a teenager, and in the ways of Shinjin things he was still very immature.

    Even as Phakk spoke his gaze was forward, his body slumping and the energy looking to have drained from him. So many things in such a short span of time had worn on him in a way he had never expected. After a long drawn out sigh he looked to her once again, gripping her hand and nodded.

"I'm still not sure how to handle all of this. Shinjin interactions at home are nothing like these the mortals have, they are so draining. The way they talk to each other, act around one another, the unfettered emotional states and outbursts, the hard to fathom decisions, it's just so much. When I'm home I can find my task and complete it, perfect it even. It feels as if there is no such time here. Everything and everyone move so quickly."

    His hand moved to rub at his eyes, shaking his head in clear frustration.

"I've never had to do that before, ya know? It's easy to distance yourself from the lives of mortals when you don't have to see them or interact with them. Think of one the same as another and move on. Having to see and interact with them up close makes it harder to put distance between yourself and their affairs."

    The emotional spectrum was running across his face as her hand touched it, trying to keep it inside, not even wanting to show how difficult it was to deal with as she stared it down herself. He hadn't ever had to deal with things this way, and even if he eventually would mature to a point to do so, it was bubbling up in a way he wasn't fond of in the present.

"Perhaps I just needed to hear you say all that. My head has been spinning with all sorts of thoughts, and it's been hard to rationalize everything that's happened. I've gotten too comfortable with, as you put it, focusing too much on just one thing at a time. It's made all of this harder, because focusing on one thing just means being blindsided by all the rest. I have a feeling things will get harder before they get easier. I'm concerned about this planet Plant, but at this point I feel I need to go there and see it all for myself."

    There was a soft chuckle in the form of a heavy exhale as he followed her gaze. It was starting to feel as if he answered his own questions at times, releasing emotions and thoughts he bottled for as long as he was. Talking to Phakk gave him a release he never had from others before, and her being a Shinjin, even if they were incredibly different, helped him open up and say what was on his mind.

"Maybe we aren't so different, us and the mortals. I've seen Shinjin get angry and violent, I've had more than my share of selfish moments, and I met a rather greedy and emotional Shinjin not that long who who stole a weapon and fled to the mortal realm."

    Bending down in a squat position, he stared at the ground letting out a full blown laugh as he shook his head, looking up at Phakk. There was a look on his face somewhere between realization and sadness.

"Maybe it's us that are flawed. So many Shinjin seem to miss all of the positive emotions, the caring and empathy, selflessness. It's so easy to ignore it all when you never have to see it all. It's easy not to have to help the mortals when you don't have to interact with them or even see them. Out of sight out of mind as the saying goes. Talk about a realization, huh?"

    Standing back up again, he rolled his neck and stretched out his arms above his head. One weight lifted replaced with another. Now he had to figure out what to do about it, if anything. What could he do?

"Maybe it's time I stop watching and start acting. Nothing says I can't push balance in the right direction. Maybe it's time to give mortals a helpful push. Can't be a part of this realm by simply watching it pass by and hoping it balances itself out after all, right?"

"It feels like the more I spend time with you the more I grow, if I'm being honest. Though I feel you've likely picked up more than a couple of mortal traits in your time, hm?"

    He really was feeling himself change, and rapidly. His stance and overall views weren't changing completely however, but they were most certainly expanding. His time spent with the mortals added more cynicism than anything positive, or that's how it felt. Spending time with Phakk on the other hand felt like he was having his eyes opened, and perhaps that was because of who she was that he was ignoring some of his biases and taking what she said to heart more.

"I'll have to decide what to do before I can show or share it, that's for sure. The real question is how long will it take me to decide. I admit I rarely make such decisions quickly, but perhaps I won't be given the choice to wait. I fear the choice is coming fast. There's a feeling in the air I can't quite explain or shake."

    His eyes slowly trailed over to her phone, then up to her face, giving only a single blink. It was clear he wasn't all there, still lacking sleep and having trained and stressed far too much recently. It took him a moment to fully register what she had said as he forced himself to listen with a few slaps to his own face.