The Royal Treatment

The Android unofficially designated as Patchwork was currently sat in front of the main terminal of his ship. His eyes were open but unfocused, processing data and a lightning fast rate as he controlled the ship's functions with his own central control unit. What organics would probably call his 'brain.' The ship had been a random but serendipitous find on Namek. He had quite literally tripped over it while out looking for dinosaurs in the wild. And after a bit of work, had managed to get the buried piece of tech running. 

Operating it was another matter entirely. Thanks to his robotic capabilities he was able to directly jack in to the Ship's systems and operate it entirely solo. However in these moments it was if the ship became his body, and he essentially had to re-learn how to fly both whilst lacking an atmosphere and with a much larger mass and frame. His first landing back on Earth hadn't been the smoothest, but now he was beginning to feel like he was getting the hang of it.

What he still couldn't get the hang of was organics. He'd been told a few times now to get a hobby, and even when he had quite logically explained that his 'hobby' was martial arts he had been told that he needed more hobbies. He had even researched the term 'moving the goalposts' to counter this argument in future, but as of yet he hadn't had the chance.

He liked watching Dinosaurs. He supposed that was a hobby, but he was worried if he brought that up he would be told yet again that wasn't enough. He would need to find more hobbies to fill out this arbitrary checklist that society had apparently made up for him.

As much as he admired organics, he truly feared he would never quite understand them. 

The other thing Patch had heard a lot was about these beings called Saiyans. He had seen Saiyans before, when watching the tournament a while ago. They looked a lot like humans, except some of them sported primate-like tails. From his cross-analysis of these beings he had discovered that their DNA was compatible with Earthlings and many other species around the galaxy. And that he had in fact met two beings that possibly held Saiyan DNA. Yet he had never met a full-blooded Saiyan in person.

His research had led him two distinct directions. On many forums there were angry voices typing in large bold letters about how Saiyans were tyrants and scoundrels and bullies. Whilst on other social medias on the galactic web people would talk about how many Saiyans were misunderstood, how their deep and unique culture made some of their actions seem strange to us. How Saiyans were 'based', whatever that meant. He had also discovered many artworks of Earthlings being held by supposed Saiyan warriors depicted as incredibly tall musclebound beings but he could not yet confirm the academic validity of these works.

Regardless the Android knew that to see something for one's self was the best way to discover new things. Which is why he found himself flying towards the atmosphere of Planet Plant. Which had been quite tricky to find on the Galactic maps as it seemed it had a different name half the time depending on whom exactly you asked.

His ship entered the upper orbit of the Planet without much issue. His ship was flagged by scout posts that were flying nearby but he hadn't been hailed just yet. It was only when he started to enter the lower atmosphere, just above where Zuqetta found herself exploring that trouble soon arose. 

A red flashing alert appeared in his vision, with the words INCOMING blaring underneath them. Before he could even shift his bulky ship form the craft was pierced through by some kind of anti-air weapon. His systems were fried by some kind of EMP and he had to disconnect his consciousness from the ship's computer and shake it off. His own systems were trying to reboot. His ocular HUD was fizzling and blaring with errors. And what was more he could feel...some kind of cold draught?

He slowly turns his head over to the large hole in his hull that was right next to him. He could feel his jacket being pulled towards it as his form started to shift from his seat. In the instant before he was violently pulled from the ship the Android could only utter a single word. "Oh..."

With a vicious tug of gravity Patchwork was jettisoned from the craft as it careened towards the planet's surface and he tumbled towards the Tuffle city below. He kicked his feet to try and engage his emergency thrusters but had no such luck as he hurtles towards the ground. With no other option left he forces restarts his entire system, dropping him into a state akin to unconsciousness as he falls further and further. Seconds pass by as he drops before finally his OS flickers back to life and he awakens again. He kicks his legs and the rockets flare to life with a sputter, saving him from a sudden impact with the floor but only just. His systems are still waking up and his thrusters only manage to catapult him away from the floor to skim over a few rooftops. His solid metal form smashing through roofs and towers, sending debris to the floor below until he finally slams through the upper wall of the newly renovated Tuffle research academy that Zuqetta's escort had so proudly shown her before. Not too far from her current location.

The Android blinks a few times as he lies in his newly formed crater. Just nearby to quite a few terrified looking faculty and students who probably hadn't expected their first semester back at this institute to involve projectiles coming to a landing in the atrium.

Patch couldn't think of anything to say really, his eyes darted around as he ran a diagnostic report in the background. "A...are any of you a Saiyan?" He asks curiously.

His systems were beginning to come back online properly. The glitching and spasmodic flickering seeming to lessen more and more as his internal systems repaired themselves. Finally, a flood of noise returned as his auditory systems rebooted. There was a figure in front of him now, sweeping concrete and rubble off of his body as she asked him questions. His oculars turned from green to blue as he scanned her face, trying to capture as many details as possible. 

He didn't notice the offered hand as his feet clamped down on the floor below and he rose up unnaturally from the ground below. Robotic motors and servos whirring quietly as he assumed a standing position. "Your biology is humanoid, but atypical of Earthlings. Given the primate tail you sport from your tailbone and the planet we are standing on. I am nintety-three point seven percent sure that you are a Saiyan."

It was only after he stated that conclusion he realised the woman had been speaking to him prior. And though he had not been actively listening to her, his internal computer had recorded her words and he could play it back within his own head. Within nanoseconds he had processed the statements he had missed. 

"Oh, I see now. Allow me to address your points in order." He paused for a moment, his eye-contact unblinking and unwavering. Making it abundantly obvious that courtly manners were not something that he came pre-programmed with. It was a pause akin to an organic clearing their throat before speaking. But as Patch had no biological need to do so, instead it was just an awkward silence.

"In terms of this being an assassination attempt. That was not my intention for coming here. If it was I would be far more careful about how I came into contact with the planet's surface. Being immediately shot down by planetary defenses and assaulting a..." He pauses for a moment as his scanner passes over the walls and ceilings of the building they stand in. "...Elementary school?" He hazards a guess. "Would be a very ineffective way to commit an assassination. Furthermore, talking as much as I am now instead of actually carrying out the deed would be folly. Unless I was using conversation as a means to get you to lower your guard..." He pauses for an uncomfortable amount of seconds. "Which I am not..."


"As to your other points. Your claims of being a Saiyan raise the likelihood of my hypothesis by two point eight percent. A valuable increase. So thank you for you input." He nods graciously. "As for my purposes here. Well, I intended a much gentler landing initially, and to cause substantially less destruction during my visit. But I desired to meet a Saiyan in person. I have seen them from a distance before, and have been told fascinating stories. I am merely a curious observer." 

His brow furrows slightly as he sees frightened onlookers, with far shorter statures than he'd come to suspect from the Saiyans. His confusion only grew as a security team arrived, armed and armoured and ready to detain. "Hmm...this is odd. These other Saiyans hold distinctly different characteristics to yourself. This was not told to me." He starts quietly scanning his own databanks to try and collate any information he had to explain this anomaly. Seemingly unconcerned by the weapons being pointed his way. As if he was oblivious to the fact they were intended to be fired at him.

"Hmm, very bizarre. I have numerous questions. If you would have time to answer them." It was then that he realised he had forgotten a lesson that Juniper had tried to instill in him many times over. "Ah...f-[PROFANITY FILTER ENABLED]" His exclamation cut off by an apparent automatic censorship system. "My apologies..." He looks at his scrapwork hand for a few moments, as if he is using all of his processing power to remember what to do with it. He slowly forms the hand into a clenched fist and holds it out to Zuqetta. "A short fellow named Budoshi told me people like these Fist-a-Bops..." Not a bow, or a even a formal handshake being offered to the Queen of Plant. No, this intruder opted for a common fist-bump.

"I am unofficially designated as Patchwork. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance Saiyan Person."

Of course, the security team might not take kindly to a metal fist being thrust towards their monarch.

Security forces surrounded them, and though Patch did take notice he did not lower his fist. He wouldn't let what happened last time happen again, where he had acted too late and missed his chance for a fist-a-bop. This fist was staying up until he received the bop that was required for such a technique.

He then felt a rather odd sensation as the scanners of the security tech specialist passed over his body. Something of a strange and slightly unpleasant tickling on the back of his neck. He had never been scanned before, was this what it felt like whenever he scanned something else? He hoped not, nobody had ever seemed bothered by it before. Perhaps the scanner the guards were using was more intrusive, or perhaps it was because of his electrical components being buzzed.

Regardless it would seem either the scanner was broken or the tech leader was illiterate. As he communicated to his team that he had scanned an Automaton. Something Patch was quick to correct him on, he was sure it would clear up this whole situation. Perhaps Saiyans were allergic to clocks and that was where the issue lay. "Oh! I believe you are confused. I am not an Automaton, I am an Android. An Automaton is a clockwork construction. If you believe you hear ticking that might mean one of my servos is jammed." It seemed that last bit was supposed to be a joke of some sort as Patch cracked something resembling a smile, but it seemed as though he had not quite mastered what such a thing was supposed to look like yet. And it was unlikely anyone present would find it particularly funny. And still, his fist was up in the air, waiting for reciprocation.

His smile attempt would fade however as the weapons pointed at him turned a blueish hue and more and more guards started to filter in. "This elementary school is strangely well guarded." He would comment, concern growing slightly as he realised they were packing Ion dischargers of some description. Already his computerised mind began to calculate possible defenses and potential routes of escape, behind his eyes various moves and avenues were plotted out, being x'd out and deleted when they were proven to have a low percentage of success. Every time a guard made a slight movement or adjustment he had to calculate again.

He continued to stand there with fist outstretched as Miss Saiyan attempted to defuse the situation. That she said she could handle herself told Patch that she was a being of notable power, and given that he was unable to scan a power level from her he had reason to believe that was the case. He became glad that he had not in fact been sent to assassinate her in this instance. It is unlikely he would've survived.

Furthermore the security team claimed that harm to her person could cause an international incident. That was interesting, so Plant was unlike Earth then. There was still a seperate national identity rather than a unified planetary one. This trip was becoming more interesting by the second. On the outside Patch remained focus on what was happening, on the inside he was frantically scrawling notes into his databanks.

While that was happening though, he had heard something very interesting. Saiyan Queen so the Saiyans were a monarchy...or that was just this woman's name. But she had claimed these beings were not Saiyans but in fact Tuffles. And indeed Budoshi was a Tuffle as well, though Patch had always just assumed he was a short Earthling. Many missing bits of information were starting to click into place. But if these things weren't Saiyans...why were they supposedly protecting the Saiyan Queen. Answers into questions into answers.

More importantly than that however, was that he had done it. Finally he had completed the Fist-a-bop technique. It had gone by so quickly that he had barely even noticed it. As Zuqetta pressed her fist against his and even added a little mouth sound to it. Clearly her technique was more advanced, but he was looking forward to learning more. He spent a few moments looking at his hand in reverent awe as his processors made sure to record every part of the experience.

"Oh...I-I um...I mean no harm." He explains to the security team. "Me and...Zuqett...-y are um...friends?" He wasn't entirely sure what to say that would get security to stand down. He also wasn't quite sure why she had mispronounced his name, but he presumed it was some holdover of Saiyan language he didn't understand and figured it was probably polite to reciprocate.

"Your elementary school is lovely, by the way." He adds, gesturing to the architecture in hopes that his 'compliment' would placate them somewhat.

Patch did indeed have advanced hearing capabilities. More often that not, he did not use them. As he had learned early on that it was rude to listen into people's conversations. But since he figured this conversation was about him it practically counted as his conversation. He adjusted his audial sensors to the vibration frequency of their conversation. Almost immediately he heard falsehoods spewing from the Captain's mouth, all in the sense of justifying his own actions. Patch supposed he couldn't really fault the small man, when you didn't have much to back yourself up, lying was a good substitute.

As the conversation ended Patchwork's gaze lingered on Zuqetta's face for a few moments before finally turning to the much less appealing scowling Captain. Even the way the man said the word 'Android' with such venom made it seem like even his voice was scowling. "From a preliminary scan of your brow I have determined that keeping your facial features in their current configuration will lead to the creation of seventeen new wrinkles." He states flatly. "On an unrelated note, I received no hailing attempts to my vessel, merely scout pings to inform me that I had been seen, which was agreeable. Your 'no-fly-zone' was also not clearly signposted." He continues, speaking just loudly enough that Zuqetta could hear this as well.

He looked down at the device the Captain was holding and scanned it slowly, breaking down its material and electronic components. It was an interesting piece of technology, able to supress both Ki and theoretically magical abilities. "Intriguing, I am interested in knowing more about this device..." He tells the Captain as he pauses for a moment.

"But I am not a criminal, and due to that fact. I will not wear your bracelet." He explains matter of factly, not trying to egg the Captain on or anything, but it was doubtful it would do anything to improve the Tuffle's mood, or alleviate his suspicions.

"If Zuqetty is indeed the Saiyan Queen. I would assume her to be the most prime example of her species. As such, I must pose no threat to her, bracelet or not." He summises, though he couldn't see Zuqetta's power level at all. He was just drawing conclusions based on the fact she had shown zero fear in his presence whatsoever. "If I was a being of such power that I could harm your Queen, then I don't think such a device would do enough to hamper me. I hope that makes sense." He concludes, not a trace of mockery or sarcasm in his tone. In his eyes, he had been quite reasonable since he'd gotten here.

"I can assure you, if I had been permitted to keep flying my ship. There would've been much less property damage." Patch responds calmly, unsure why the Tuffle captain was getting so red in the face over this. It wasn't like he had divebombed intentionally from his vessel to cause as much damage as possible, he had exited his ship quite unwillingly in fact.

Patchwork's computerised mind began to plot out possible routes of escape as well as attack procedures but quickly threw up an ERROR sign as Zuqetta leapt in front of him to block the two. Soulless a machine as he may be he wasn't about to try and blast through the Saiyan Queen just to preserve himself. 

The belligerent captain began bellowing about the distinct differences between Tuffle and Saiyan governance. How Zuqetta was specifically Queen of the Saiyans and not of them. Patch had questions about the political situation on Plant, but the appearance of two massive battle mechs convinced him that may be a question for later. Even as this all went down now he was silently writing notes into his own databanks. Keeping a record of everything he was learning so far. Many people had told him Saiyans were aggressive creatures that loved to fight, but what he was observing here and now seemed antithetical to that. He supposed nothing could beat fist hand experience of things.

Even the Captain seemed to want to convince Patch of that falsehood, screaming about the violence loving Saiyans moments before giving the order to fire on two individuals that weren't fighting back. Time seemed to slow for Patch as his lightning fast processors took in everything that happened in that moment. His eyes turned as he saw Zuqetta leaping towards him with arms outstretched. For a moment he wondered if she was going for a hug, but given the angle of her jump towards him, it certainly seemed more like a tackle. 

Muscle met metal as suddenly Patch was taken up into the sky, only for the Saiyan Queen to complain about his weight almost immediately. "My apologies..." As he speaks she would feel the weight getting lighter and lighter as Patch himself began to fly and take the burden off of her, he didn't insist on being let go though as he had a feeling she was a fair margin faster than he was.

She would drop Patch slightly to grab him by the wrist with her tail. Patchwork quickly committed the strength of Saiyan tails to his databanks as he activated the secondary thrusters in his legs to help expedite their flight.

Concern struck however as he tuned into the Tuffle military radio frequency and could once again hear the Captain bellowing orders. It seemed they were not planning to let this escape go down without a fight. "No offense intended, but your Tuffles seem quite...highly strung?" He suggests. "This seems excessive for property damage, unless your laws are significantly different on the matter?" Shots would fly up towards the pair, Patch's shielding caught most of the ordinary blaster bolts that were headed for Zuqetta, he figured the least he could do for her taxiing him around was protect her from those. 

Then suddenly a blue ion blast shot through the air and tore right through his energy shielding, striking his chest and causing parts of him to spark and his thrusters to start shorting out. He would suddenly become heavy again as his internals glitch out and his vision becomes filled with static. Many of his systems shutting down. 

'Okay' was more of a state of mind than anything. Patch appeared to be whatever the Android version of knocked out was, but more than that it appeared the impact had seperated his legs from his torso. It would've been quite a grisly scene had he been organic. Thankfully, nothing more than some sparking wires and spilled coolant to worry about.

Internally, Patch's systems were firing up again one by one as they recovered from the ion shock. Zuqetta would perhaps be able to see his fingers twitch one after the other, or maybe his eyebrow move slightly as she expanded her mana veil over the building. Soon enough she would hear a whirring as his core reignited and he shot up into a sitting position, leaning on his hands for support. His humanoid ocular was pointed inwards, giving him something of a cross-eyed look as he looked around. "Odio las explosiones de iones" His brows furrow, as even he looked confused why he said that. He smacks the side of his head with his palm as if knocking something back into place as he turns his attention to Zuqetta. "Apologies, I allowed them to get the better of me. Where are we?" He asks, finally noticing his one crossed eye, concentrating for a moment he manages to slowly rotate it back to normal facing. 

If Zuqetta gave any sort of explanation he would listen patiently, seemingly unconcerned by his detached legs. Only once she was finished would they slide towards him magnetically and reattach, allowing him to rise back up to a standing position as his body steadily began to reconnect everything. 

"I apologise if I caused any problems. Such a thing was not my intention. But...if I may offer my analysis, it seemed that Tuffle was looking for a reason to start a fight. A Tuffle Scuffle, if you will." If that was his attempt at a joke, it certainly wasn't followed by a knowing smile or a wink at the camera.

"I would offer to repair my ship and leave before any further issues arrive, however, with all of those guards on watch. I doubt I would get far." His oculars come to focus on Zuqetta. "You are the Saiyan Queen, correct? Perhaps you could call on your people to resolve this matter. I could link up to a communications array?"

It was only then that he noticed Zuqetta seemed to be out of breath. He remembered what Juniper had taught him about being chivalrous. He extends his more humanoid hand towards her, offering it for her to lean on. "Do you require assistance? Are you hurt?" He asks her, oculars turning blue as he scans her, attempting to discern her vitals.

Despite all the drama. Patchwork was pleased to be learning so much. For example, it seemed people had exaggerated the aggressive nature of Saiyans. Perhaps they had simply been mistaking the Tuffles for them?

"If you are feeling fatigued. I can carry you." Patch offers as he pulls Zuqetta gently to her feet and the two are encompassed by her shrouding aura. Though he knew that the Saiyan Monarch was more than capable of handling herself. He would rather she could save her strength for more important matters, especially considering the danger they were in. Though his power paled to hers, he could quite easily transport her over long distances without feeling any tiredness or loss of breath, for obvious reasons.

If she seemed so inclined he would offer his back for her to hop aboard. If she desired to be carried in his arms instead he would relent, though he would protest somewhat, as it would leave him mostly defenseless in case of surprise attack. 

Whether she accepted or not he would allow her to guide them through the Tuffle apartment building as she explained possibilities as to why the Captain had been so hostile towards the pair. "I see, so there is a sense of tension and resentment between Tuffles and Saiyans?" He confirms, such a thing was likely obvious to most living beings in the galaxy. As the constant warring of the past between the two resident species of Plant was well-known and documented. But to the Android from the Southern Tropics of Earth, it was all new and fascinating information.

Zuqetta would then ask why he had been seeking out a Saiyan. A query the Patch pondered over for a few moments before replying. "People often say that I'm quite boring to be around. And not exactly conversational." He explains. "Juniper...the woman who took me in back on Earth recommended I broaden my horizons beyond my usual interests." The pair walked on, Patch keeping his audial sensors tuned for any suspicious sounds. "I like martial arts, sparring and...Dinosaurs..." He tells her, lowering the volume of his vocal speaker for that last part. It seemed that he was maybe a bit shy about his fascination with the Great Lizards.

"I saw some Saiyans at the Tournament of Peace on Namek a while back. I heard all sorts of things about them and wanted to see for myself. I figured maybe I'd find some new hobbies through my research." He pauses for a few moments as he focuses his audial sensors, hearing a faint buzzing and distant stomping. "They are searching for us, we should be careful..."